Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Sometimes you feel like a nut, then other times you feel like an entire FRUITCAKE

I am not talking nuts and fruitcakes ladies and gentlemen.  I am talking about none other than me, myself, and I!  I have suffered with depression since my accident in 1993.  I dealt fairly well with it, but after I got pregnant with my first baby I slowly began to digress.  I thought it was just Postpartum stuff, but it was not.  I ended up not being able to go off the pills I was given.  When I did try, I would just cry uncontrollably.  At that point I was on 100 mg of Zoloft.  They worked great, but unfortunately my insurance would not cover them anymore.  They then tried me on Prozac.  Ha, that was like taking water and so then it was Paxil.  I felt like a living earthquake.  I would tremor terribly on the inside.  Then it was Celexa (citalopram)  I started on a 20 mg dose and now I take 40 mg.  I love it and feel so normal.  Well I have been out for like 2 weeks.  I had a prescription but I guess the baby lost it for me.  I was doing fine and thought just maybe I could go off the stuff, but yesterday was a BAD day.     The simplest task I could not even do it.  Then right before Brian came home I went through a big crying spell!  Then well I got sick!  This morning I called my doctor to see if she would call in my medication!  No more trying to go off for me!  I don't want to be any crazier than I already am!!!

4 comments:

Teresa said...

Love the picture...I think were all a little crazy!!! Take care.

JOY said...

That picture looks like me LOL :) I am on the same meds. There are days I think I need an increase but so far, It is a low dose. Hang in there sweetie!

Deb Burton said...

Tina,
God has blessed you with a medication that helps you feel yourself - your real, God-created self! Embrace His blessing and enjoy the bounty of it. I have a friend who is bi-polar whom I call regularly to remind her to stay on top of her meds. Maybe you can set up someone like that to help you stay accountable. Being able to enjoy the quality of life that God intends for you to have makes it so worth it!

Tina said...

Thanks Deb. On the norm I take my med's like clock work. I was wanting to try to go off my depression med's, but now I know I can't at this time.